Now that the holidays have come and gone, I'm sure, like me, you are about to bring out those planners and make some New Year resolutions.
You know I'm right. Or, are you at the gym? You might be at the gym. Either way! I'm glad that are taking the time to think about what you want out of 2020. However, listen closely, I might say something you don't want to hear.
Pump. The. Breaks.
Yes, you read that correctly. Before you get into resolutions and goal planning, I think it's important to express gratitude for making it to where you are today, but also to take time to resolve whatever has been holding you back.
That being said, what BIG thing do you wish to change in 2020?
It could be anything! Maybe it's a weight loss/health goal, maybe it's to spend more time with family, or maybe it's work related. Whatever the goal, keep that centric in your mind as I ask the next question.
In 2019, what held you back from reaching this goal? What one thing do you need to rid from your life so that you can move forward?
It's important to let go of what has been holding you back, so that you can move forward and grow in 2020. It's different for all of us and we all have our own struggles, but what sets you apart is choosing to grow. To choosing a better you.
For me, my big goal in 2020 is to strengthen my relationship with God and to be in the best health I can be within my mind, body and soul. I'm sure, by now, you've heard me say that last part a few times, but I never quite have reached peace with all 3 parts of that goal. My main focus this year is to simultaneously be healthy within all parts. I sometimes run so fast, that I forget to take care of myself... I forget to breathe and enjoy life!
So, what has been holding me back?
Well, I've been running from my depression for many years. In the past, I would put bandaids over the holes in my heart, but that got me nowhere. We must go through the pain that is unknown to get to the healing that we desire. Crazy to think about, isn't it? Too often, we try to change quickly and before you know it, you end up going back to old habits and it all starts over.
My life was one big cycle of ups and downs filled with many distractions to keep me busy. Months would go by and I would have no progress on any of my personal goals.
When I found the root of my depression, I figured that was the key. That magically it would all just go away. But! It doesn't work that way. You have to put in the work to become a better you. Learning of my depression was just the start of my journey to self love and taking my power back. A journey I am still walking to this day.
So, when I finally sat back and took some time for myself, I asked myself the same question I am asking you. What has held me back in 2019? What do I need to let go of so that I can make space for a better me?
For me, it was a few things:
My Eating Habits / Weight
My Relationship with God
My Job / Mental Health
If you've read my blog post on depression, you have read my story and know that where I struggled most was with loving myself. After my assault, I was in a dark place and began questioning everything. I blamed God, I blamed myself, and ultimately couldn't understand why something so horrible would happen to me.
Once I started going to therapy, I started to learn of the roots of my depression and was taught how to cope and move forward. This was seriously great and I recommend therapy to anyone who is going through a hard time.
This kickstarted me into making better decisions and choosing to be a better me. Through this, I ultimately chose to move home and be closer to family, but like I often do, I ran quickly toward new opportunities and forgot to assess where I was at mentally, emotionally, and physically.
Just like performance reviews in your career, it's so important to look back and assess your personal life in this way. I say that because when you are moving so quickly and not taking time to take a real look at your life, you end up missing some pretty great experiences. And, most times, you can end up back where you began and not following through on your goals.
I moved home, took the first job I was offered, and started working right when I got here.
I found myself making excuses again and lost sight of all of the big goals I had made for myself. This is also part of the reason I haven't been active on social media. Everything in my life felt draining and I didn't know who I was anymore, but I did know I needed to make some changes.
Well a few months ago, a special friend asked me if I would go to church with her. She hadn't found a home church in Nashville and was looking for a friend to go with her. My relationship with God at the time was rough, almost nonexistent. So, when she asked, I internally struggled with it, but of course went, because a friend needed me. This wasn't about me, it was about her, and I would do anything for my friends.
What a huge turning point in my life... ONE HOUR on ONE SUNDAY. Completely shifted my mindset. It's wild, right? When something that takes so little time and effort ends up making the biggest waves.
I realized that for many years I was shutting out my relationship with God, because I didn't believe that he loved me. That's a tough sentence to write! But, it's true. He had loved me all along and I finally heard him loud and clear. I had let go of my assault and had let him in.
Once I repaired my relationship with God, a lot of things just started to click into place. I realized I had just been running from distraction to distraction and not truly taking the time to digest my past.
A few weeks ago, I chose to part ways with the company I was working for. There were too many red flags and my mental health was suffering because of it. I finally chose me and am taking the time to work on being my best self.
So, what am I freeing myself of so that I can move forward and be the best version of myself?
The manager who made me feel like dirt.
The bullies who told me I wasn't pretty.
The job that took everything out of me.
The assault that was the peak of my depression.
The emotional and physical weight I held on my shoulders for so long.
I am ready to move forward and I am done making excuses. Weirdly enough, I am grateful for all I have gone through, because it made me stronger. It made me who I am today.
I urge you to join me and make a list of your own. Let go and let yourself be free of whatever baggage is holding you back.
You've heard my story and for you, it could be something completely different. But, we can all choose to let go and choose to be better.
Year 2020 is the year we all take our power back and make positive changes. I am here for you!
So, tell me, what are you ready to let go of?
Until Next Time,
Jessie
Ready to start goal planning? Make sure your mind is right first! Read more here on how I reset my mindset to follow through with my goals.
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